Exploring the Colony on a Zeppelin made of Bread…

Today was a bit of an exciting adventure. Step 1: Purchase washer/dryer and refrigerator. I was expecting that to be quite the terrible process, but it turned out to be pretty painless. Even my credit card wasn’t complaining as much as expected!

What was not painless was talking Bev out of buying the chaise she wants. AGAIN.

Dramatic Bevin on a Chaise

We finally settled on NOT buying the chaise, but only because of the idea that there might be other, better chaise’ to be found at other locations. So I guess I’m not off the hook that easy. It was commented upon in a texting thread thusly:

It is terrible! Egregiously huge. It is an affront.

It is a BED. Except it is permanently in recline. It’s a broken reclining bed. It is best used as a guest bed for guests you hate.

Matt Proehl

I believe him to be correct, I could not have said it better. And yet I live in fear that some nebulously better chaise awaits, lurking in my future like a jaguar creeping through the jungle canopy at midnight. This new state of fear will take some getting used to.

So, we left Nebraska (the furniture mart, not the state… Although I’m still not certain which is larger.) and I pull up the great gooleator, which presents me with this:

“Explore The Colony”

My brain vaporlocked at “Explore The Colory”. Was I teleported to Mars? Was it April 1st? Is google gaslighting me? I was legitimately confused. For the second time! This happened once before several weeks ago when we were here. Apparently I didn’t learn. Very weird to have an area named “The Colony”, at least according to my brain. Maybe it’s too busy coping with the idea of “chaise” still.

Anyway, once I recovered from that, we managed to locate the location for the lunching: Bread Zeppelin! Which is a salad bar. Because…. well, no idea why, but Bevin loves it.

Yeah, that’s a “salad”. The center is hollowed out and filled with salad anyway.

The “best” part is that they take the soft center they scooped out, and make it into croutons and bread pudding, which they then charge you extra for.

It feels like a protection racket. The bread mafia perhaps? I avoided any mob entanglements by having a simple salad bowl, which was actually quite tasty. Would definitely take another ride on this Zeppelin.

In the afternoon we did a bit more shopping, moved some stuff from the hotel to the house, and took a few more measurements. You know, to figure out where to fit The Chaise.

Deliveries begin arriving Tuesday. We are not long for this hotel it seems. It’s hard to tell if we’re over-excited and can’t process the excitement any longer, or if it hasn’t really sunk in yet.

Omg

Image

We are now officially in the future!

In the background, you’ll see a futon with a built-in motorized pillow. In the foreground, you’ll see a futon with built-in USB charger, aux input, and volume knob.

What is even happening.

Aside

I just tried to shoot the paper sleeve off my straw at Bevin and it flopped flaccidly onto the table instead.

She laughed at me.

I am hurt.

I’m Dr. Zoidberg! Homeowner!

We made it! We’re here! The locks only work with our keys now! Our very own house!

I’m amused that UPS got my package here before I even arrived! So… I have a house, AND 53Lbs of ammo. What more could a person want?

Maybe some furniture I suppose. This floor is great, but there’s enough room in this room that it feels a bit weird to just by lying here.

Whew! It’s done! Sort of. The next adventure is buying a washer/dryer and refrigerator. 4th of July sales here we come! Crowds of people and salespeople trying to make commissions as fast as possible, sounds like my own special hell, I may just lie here.

Also, if the title confused you: https://youtube.com/watch?v=ijJVVP-Ycjk

Hobo lunch.

As homeless Hobos are want to do, we are having chicken and waffles and mac’n’cheese for lunch.

Closing on the house is in 45 minutes, so if all goes well we won’t be homeless anymore in about 3 hours. I’m undecided if I’ll miss the hobo lifestyle or not. It’s a bit hot for riding in a boxcar though, so I guess…

My poor tired brain…

From across the room these symbols looked like tiny Stormtrooper helmets. (you know, from Star Wars?) My brain spent a full 15 seconds trying to process that.

Clearly I need a nap.

Once more unto the sky dear friends, once more. Boarding group C coming up next!